I know that it's been a while since you last heard from me, but trust me, the break has been well worth it and I have plenty to share with you in the very near future, but in the mean time between time, I want to share a convo I had with someone recently concerning divorce, and if it's truly biblical to do so.
It started from a convo we had some months ago regarding his divorce and if it is biblical for him to remarry, and if his divorce is honored by God. Time passed and I eventually stumbled on the link above regarding the permanence view of marriage. After listening to it, I decided to share it with him and a few others. He listened to it, and here is the gist of his response in green.
Is everyone who remarries condemned to Hell? Should they get a divorce since they should have never remarried after their divorce, and was it biblical for them to divorce their first spouse? Also, would the husband be allowed to remarry his previous wife seeing as though she was once married (to him that is)? Wouldn't both be in continuous adultery regardless at this point? Then there is the question of what did Jesus die for, was it only certain sins? If so, that also translates into this being one of the only sins that can never be forgiven which would sentence you to hell. This would not make sense if you believe that the blood of Christ is forever cleansing. Also its states in the bible that the only sin that is unforgivable is blasphemy against the Holy Spirit. I’m just trying to piece everything together for a better understanding. Peace to you bro.
My Response:
Good questions/comments. It's very important for us who have
faith in Christ to not only read scriptures or have and understanding
of particular scriptures, but to understand Gods word as a whole and
how he operates.
If you we're chosen by God for salvation before the foundations of the
earth, and God calls you into repentance during some point in your
life, and then saves you, then starts the conforming process (ie
sanctification) in your life, then there is no way that you can do
anything to lose Gods love or favor, for you did nothing to earn it.
Romans 8:29-30.
So concerning Marriage and Remarriage, once we leave our parents, we
are to hold fast (hold tightly) to our wife. Scripture also tells us
that once we are married we become one flesh. Gen 2:24. Since this is
true, if you don't like your legs, face, arms, whatever, are you to
cut it off? Of course not, it'll hurt, or even worse you'll kill
yourself. We also know that God never intended for us to get Divorced.
Mark 10:9-12
9 what therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.
10 And in the house the disciples asked him again about this matter.
11 And he said to them, “Whoever divorces his wife and marries another
commits adultery against her,
12 and if she divorces her husband and marries another, she commits
adultery.”ESV
Luke 16:1-18
18 “Everyone who divorces his wife and marries another commits
adultery, and he who marries a woman divorced from her husband commits
adultery. ESV
1 Corn 7:10-11
10To the married I give this charge (not I, but the Lord): the
wife should not separate from her husband 11(but if she does, she
should remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband), and
the husband should not divorce his wife.
Malachi 2:16
New Living Translation (NLT)
16 “For I hate divorce!” says the Lord, the God of Israel. “To divorce your wife is to overwhelm her with cruelty,” says the Lord of Heaven’s Armies. “So guard your heart; do not be unfaithful to your wife.”And concerning Matt 5:31-32, that isn't speaking on divorce from a
marriage. Matthew (Levi) was a Jew and his Gospel was written to the
Jews, and in Jewish culture, they had a custom called betrothal which
is a legal biding arrangement/document stating that a man will marry a woman. It's
similar to what we consider being engaged except this one is deeper
because it is legal and you could not break it off (ie divorce) for
anything like you can an engagement. The only way you could in Jewish
culture is if it was found that the woman was not a virgin (Duet 24:1,
Duet 22:16-18) or had committed fornication (which is adultery for
those in a betrothal period). That's why when Joseph (who was
betrothed, not married to Mary) found out that she was pregnant, he
contemplated divorcing her quietly when an angel of the lord appeared
to him in a dream to let him know that she was pregnant by the spirit,
not that she had been unfaithful to him during this period (Matt
1:18-20). So he did not divorce her.
God hates divorce. Why? Because it's a covenant you make with him. Did
you say in your vows, for better or for worse, in sickness in health,
for richer or poorer till death do you part? Even if you didn't, why
are those vows said? Because it is a perfect example of Gods ways.
When God makes covenants with man, it is always affirmed with
bloodshed whether it blood of an oxen, sheep, or his son, (Gen 9:15,
Ex 7:16-18, Ex 21:21-32, Heb. 9:18-20, matt 26:28) And when you make a
covenant with God in marriage, you affirm it how? When you have
relations with your wife, and when you lay with your wife, what do you
do? You exchange blood and other bodily fluids. And if she was a virgin
until marriage 9/10, she would bleed on you. Anyhow, the only way a
convent could be broken is through death. Why? Cause you can't be
bound to anything when you're dead.
A deeper example of why one should not get divorced is because
we are Gods bride, and are married to him. He did not choose to marry
us cause we were beautiful, good, nor faithful. Eventhough he knew we would be unfaithful,
He still married us. And even after marriage (salvation for his children) no matter how unfaithful we
are, he remains faithful (2 Tim 2:13). Why, because we are one with
he and he can't disown himself.
So if you divorce and remarry ignorant to Gods stance on divorce then
become saved, God will forgive your trespasses, and no, you are to not
divorce your new wife and get back with your old one. But if you are
saved, and are biblically illiterate, and get divorced then remarried,
and after remarriage you get understanding of Gods decrees concerning
marriage and repent, you are to ask your first wife for forgiveness
for your trespasses and then vow to your new wife that you will not leave
her no matter what, and you stay married to the new wife. But if you
are saved and you divorced your wife, and you later learn what Gods
decree is when it comes to marriage, and you still want to be married,
you are to try and reconcile with your wife, and if after presenting
gods decree to her about the topic and she doesn't want to be back
with you. You are to stay single and faithful (means not committing
adultery) to her. If she decides to keep committing adultery against
you after that or decides to marry someone else, it is on her head.
And if you decide to get remarried, knowing this truth, and say "I'll
act like I don't know, get remarried, then repent of it later" I hope
God has mercy on you for tempting him (Matt 4:5-7). He can forgive any
sin by his children, but why put him to the test to forgive you after
you just premeditated your future sin and plot to sin against God?
It's not wise, and if one does that, they should search themselves to
see if they are truly saved.
Gods decrees could be considered tough and unfair, but remember God
is just. He could treat present day people who get divorce and commit
continual adultery against their spouse like he did in the Old Testament and stone them, for that was the punishment for such an offense. But because he is gracious, he doesn't do so anymore.
It's hard to be married and stay married; it is hard to separate from a
wife. It is hard to divorce, it's also hard to stay faithful to a wife
who remarry's or doesn't want to be with you, but it's fair and
honoring to God, for you made a covenant with him concerning her which
is only breakable when she or you die. Why does God ordain this long
suffering? Because he is trying to conform his children into the
image of his son, who suffered unjustly for your trespasses. So if you
want to be married, ask God for help and pray that he works on the heart of
your wife. Present this message to her, and ask God to enlighten her to
this truth. If it doesn't work, and she doesn't want to be with you,
then ask God for strength so that you can be faithful to her and not sin against
him by committing adultery.
Grace and peace be multiplied unto you through the knowledge of God,
and of Jesus our Lord, According as his divine power hath given unto
us all things that pertain unto life and godliness, through the
knowledge of him that hath called us to glory and virtue. II Peter
1:2,3
With Love,
Louis
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